Saturday 30 April 2011

The Aquakitty Sanctuary for Psychopathic Cats

The Jinx, half Lynx, half Jaguar and half-mad, stalked its prey through the long grasses and waist-high shrubs of the Aquakitty Sanctuary. It moved like a shadow, slipping through the grass almost as though it wasn't there, disappearing completely when out of bright sunlight, and utterly soundless. When it was far enough away, and sure that no-one could hear it, it chuckled to itself.
Ahead of it, utterly oblivious to where he was, or the danger he was in, Doctor Septopus slipped through the long grasses and waist-high shrubs like an elephant, lumbering along so loudly that several nocturnal species had woken up and were feeling grumpy that their sleep had been disturbed. His tentacles weren't well adapted to dry land at the best of times, and the oven-like heat inside the sanctuary had dried out his scaly skin and given him a headache. He plodded on, looking for water.
At last there was a glimpse of silver on the horizon, and Dr. Septopus sighed heavily and turned towards it. He was worrying that one of his tentacles might be coming close to dropping off, and he was not at all happy about having to change his name to Dr. Sextopus if that happened: he could already imagine the smirk on Silvestra's face when she heard, and the Green Lightbulb had problems with far shorter words. The idea of being Dr. Sexypuss from time to time was cringe-inducing.
He crested a small rise, and saw to his mild pleasure that the silver glint was widening and looking promisingly water-like. Behind him, the Jinx stretched out, flowing forward like night enveloping the landscape, tensing muscles ready to spring. In front of him, an angry tiger that had been trying to sleep until Dr. Septopus plodded by also tensed, readying to spring.
Dr. Septopus saw the tiger as it launched, and collapsed, his tentacles crackling like dry newspaper. The Jinx sailed over Dr. Septopus's head, its claws just scratching his scalp, and crashed into the tiger. The two giant cats landed in a ball of fur, growling and spitting, and Dr. Septopus rolled onto his side and down the slope.
He bumped and crashed his way down, bouncing off rocks, crushing small shrubs, and leaving a faint ammoniac smell of fish behind him; a scent trail as visible as if he were laying tarmac for a new motorway.
At the bottom of the rise, he righted himself, noting with relief that he still seemed to have all his tentacles, and ran, hoping to get away from the catfight behind him, heading still for the water, which was glittering brightly as it got closer.
The Jinx broke the tiger's neck with a well-timed swat of a giant paw, and sat back on its haunches. It licked a deep scratch thoughtfully, and scented the air. Dr. Septopus was as visible as a fireworks show at midnight to it, and it decided that one accident wasn't a deterrent. It padded off, following the smell of week-old fish.

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