Monday 27 June 2011

I'm back!

Gosh, it's been so long since I posted anything on this blog, lol, I hope you all totes didn't die while waiting for me to update! I'm sure you all remember that I've decided to become a food blogger, and that it all got a bit derailed when I had to move house just as I started blogging. Well, it's been a manic mess for the last six months! Honestly, every day I just sit there in bed after Darryl's left and think "What would SJP do?" Well, that's not completely true, before Darryl it was James, but I was still wondering what SJP would do. And before James it was Matt, but I never had much time to wonder what anyone would do then if you get my drift! How do I giggle girlishly in a blog?
So anyway, Jordan's gone off to do something with motorcycles somewhere, and he looks just so yummy in those leathers of his I almost made him come back and spend the morning with me, but then I remembered that Darryl might be back this afternoon so I didn't. But right, anyway, Jordan said he didn't feel like eating out again tonight, and when I offered to order in he looked a bit taken aback and said that he'd quite like to try my cooking. And at first I'm all like shocked and wondering what he thinks I am, and then I'm wondering if maybe the maid died and no-one told me yet, and then, right, I totes remember this blog and all you wonderful readers waiting on the edge of your chaise longues (I had to look that word up in the dictionary! I'm such a scholar!) and so I said yes. And then I phoned mummy, because those cookery books were just so heavy and such a drag; they're all "do this, then do that!" and there's no room for creativity.
"Samantha," said mummy, "I'm at a day spa with Maurice. He's called social services and had them take the children away for a week, and we're touring the Shetland Islands in an aquavan. I don't have the number of the catering service with me, you'll have to do it yourself."
Well, I don't mind telling you that I threw a little bit of a tantrum then, but I calmed myself down and thought of you wonderful readers waiting on tent-hooks (is that right? It looks weird...) and decided to man up. Bitch up. That's better.
The counter-girl in F&M looked a little like SJP before her nose job, so I figured I could trust her.
"Cook book!" I barked, gesturing with my handbag and concussing some wretched orphan child running loose in the store. She produced this brick of a book called Bocca and pointed me at the Food Hall, while some irritating poor woman clutched at my sleeves and bewailed some child she had. I shook her off, walked over the concussed orphan, and found myself a personal shopper. She didn't seem very grateful, but she carried the basket and found the ingredients for the recipe I picked, and that was good enough. Naturally I had the food delivered home so as not to have to carry any bags that don't contain clothes.
Jordan and Darryl came home together, so I chastely kissed them both (less than a minute each! What would SJP think!!) and showed them what I was going to make.
"Bone marrow risotto?" said Jordan. "Is that peasant food?"
"I'm trying veganism," said Darryl, looking thin and waif-like. My heart went out to him. "I don't think I'm allowed to each risotto, isn't that made from parrots?"
"It says here that there's a restaurant called Bocca," said Jordan looking at the book. "Why don't we go there and let them do the cooking?"
And over dinner I found out how Darryl and Jordan already knew each other really quite well and...
but that's not for this post, that's for the tv mini-series!

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