Job interview

"Come in, please, and sit down.  I'll have my secretary bring us some coffee – do you drink coffee?"
"Thank-you, but I don't drink."
"What?  Never?"
"No."
"I see.  Well, actually, I don't see.  How can you never drink?  You're not one of those luxovores are you?  I don't think I could hire a genetic freak like... I'm so sorry, do excuse me.  My... children use the f-word all the time and it just slipped out–"
"I am not a luxovore.  I am a mom-bot.  We do not drink, or eat, or defecate, or sleep."
"Oh.  Oh really?  Why are you here then?"
"I wish to apply for the job of accountant.  Your firm advertised it on Craigslist: professional and I submitted a resumé."
"We don't call them resumé's here actually.  Too few people know what the accent over the e is for, so they kept calling them resumes, and then no-one could work out what anyone was talking about."
"Curriculum Vitae then."
"Ah, dead languages.  Same problem.  We call them a life-story sheet."
"I submitted my life-story sheet to you via email, and you offered me an interview.  Here I am.  How am I doing?"
"...better than the last three applicants, disturbingly.  Your life-story sheet–"
"I have a copy here if you would like it."
"Thank-you, but I have one in front of me already.  Your life-story sheet is a little short, don't you think?"
"It is my life so far."
"Yes.  But all it says is where you were assembled, when you were reified, and that you've been a mom-bot for the last twelve years.  Where are your qualifications?  Where are your relevant experiences?  Where's your social media information?  Do you know how hard it is to google a individual mom-bot, even if they have provided their serial number and major and minor software revision numbers?"
"I am a mom-bot.  I can perform calculations as fast as any of your servers here, and much faster than any of your meat."
"I'm choosing to believe that you meant staff when you said meat."
"Is that a technical term?  I was 87% certain that you would not call them family."
"And how certain were you that I'd serve my staff up as a meal after two hours in the oven?"
"I do not understand the relevance of the question."
"No, well, you probably wouldn't.  Do you have any hobbies?"
"I take an interest in the hobbies of the people I look after.  I do not believe that accountants look after people, so I do not believe that hobbies are a relevant point of discussion."
"I see.  I see.  Tell me, what do accountants do?"
"They hold people to account."
"Right.  Look, I'll be honest with you, there are several more applicants that I have to interview for the job, and I don't think you stand the best chance of being picked for the role.  But, if I might make a suggestion, have you considered a career in law?  I think you'd be much more suitable for that...."